You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
