Walk of Shame. In a state park.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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