So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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