I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
