You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
