there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
