forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
