I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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