my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
