Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We need to get me chipped asap
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
