Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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