Everything about him screamed your future.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
