Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize