dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Your penis caused this!
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