Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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