Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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