We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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