Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
