I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
