U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
