whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
