You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
