If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
