the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
