at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize