i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize