Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
