omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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