I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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