I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
