Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
