I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
