why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
