if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
