hotel room ftw
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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