I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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