i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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