When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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