Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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