idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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