Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
