If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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