i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
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some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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