he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
