Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
