What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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