Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize