You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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