I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
