just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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