only if we run a train.
done.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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