Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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