in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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