i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
