Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
