Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
