no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
