Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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