i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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