he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
