There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
