So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
