I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize