i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
