clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The uberlube is also flammable
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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